News for 2019

Well what can be said about the weather! It was due to be a wet day and boy o boy - I think even the fish took shelter!

There was the normal fairweather experts, so when we finally tee'd off we were down to just 12, although at the end it was just 11 after Sarah's waterproofs turned out to be far from waterproof and she had to abandon ship at half time!

Those who did brave it out, or were they just stupid, still managed to rack up the miles on the fineometer:
- John T: - Fair weather golfer cried off just because it was spitting a little bit 🤧
- After the captain gave out a festive hat for all : Mike J, Martin & Ian D all proceeded to try them on in the club house after a comment from the fines captain “are you sure that will fit you” 🎅
- Frazer for dobbing in the fines captain, warning people not to listen to him and not to put the hat on 🙁
- Ian T, came dressed like a liberal democrat canvasser
- John F, for talking about Leeds FC and how he had a feeling in his water, it was suggested that he had Cystitis.
- John F, moaning about how he has a poorly Knee
- Ian D & john F, came to the golf club and then said I am not going out in that weather (Ian D left £10 for his fines)
- James, stating that he had lost his hat and then promptly found it in the pocket that he placed it.
- John F, using his phone in the club house.
- Dave S, making a Christmas wish that materialised (you know what it is Dave)
- Paul H, on the first fairway stating after looking though his range finder that it was about 200yds to the green when he was stood on the 200yd marker in the fairway.
- Dave S, for not knowing what day it was
- Frazer, his shot on the 18th was heading for the lake when it hit the warning water sign and bounced back, then Barnes Wallace'd his next shot over the lake

Well done to Martin, who took a lot less time than many to win his first event after only joining us a few months ago, seen below accepting the stand-in trophy (the real one was delayed in the christmas post) from Captain Shorter, who seems to be suffering a little bit from tinsellitis in the photo!

Stand-in reporter: Frazer 'Barnes Wallace' Webb

You can see the full set of results on the results page

A pitiful turnout of just 10 stalwarts were warmly greeted for the first time at Goring and Streatley Golf Club. Many had heard of the hard first 4 holes and the force 10 gale that we were presented with at the start just reinforced the difficulty that we all faced.

We all struggled up the heart-attack hill, or were blown away by the force of the wind, but eventually all made it to the top of the hill and successfully back down again to be greeted back in the club house by one of the best homemade pies in the county.

The Fines Meister was a bit lenient today with only 10 people to contend with but there were still some typical Bunkers gotchas:
- He started of by fining himself as he's back on a diet and changed his meal from a pie to an omelette.
- Dave F, after the golf club manager called the Fines Meister an athlete for his healthy choice for breakfast, for saying that he said should have gone to spec savers.
- Mike P, wanting an early tee time and then arriving late.
- John F, trying to sneak a peek at the fines being written down
- John F (again), on the 1st tee, explaining to all standing there that the Fines Meister managed to swing the club under his belly.
- Frazer, lost his ball on the 10th, the group behind found it in the middle of the fairway
- Colin T, after making the two less than mobile members of the society walk up and down on the 17th fairway to find his ball which is very steep, he then tried to decapitate one of them with his next shot.
- Dave F, saying he should get relief from fines for health reasons.
- Prev, forgetting to leave the nearest the pin in two marker on the 14th, running back and then remembered he was on in two and won the prize.
- It was the 11th day of the 11th month, so anyone without a poppy on was fined - just a mention at this time to call out Goring and Streatley for some nice touches. A. All the flags were special Remembrance Day ones with poppies on, and B. sounding the Klaxon for the start and end of the 2 minute silence.
- And finally, just because he could, he then went on to fine anyone not wearing a bunker’s shirt.

Not surprisingly, the overall scoring was low, with no one bettering handicap, and only 2 in the 30 points. But it was still tight at the top with Beardy and Colin both scoring a worthy 31 points, but after rigorous examination of cards and scores, it was Colin who came out on top by virture of a better back 9.

Well done to Colin, seen below accepting the trophy from Captain Shorter.

Stand-in reporter: Frazer 'Lost Ball In Middle Of Fairway' Webb ably assisted by the normal Roving Reporter, John 'I didn't play' Thorp

You can see the full set of results on the results page

!!!LATEST NEWS!!! The Order of Merit has been completed for yet another successful year (but more of that later).

The course was in good condition, albeit with Winter Rules in force, on a damp day, which got very damp later in the day, and the Society had a great turnout with several very welcome guests and potential members.

With concentration on the 'Race' and on the day’s competition at Lambourne at fever pitch, the number of fines was slightly lower than normal but with the usual recidivists cropping up. Paul Healy asked Darren if he had the cards whilst standing in front of Frazer waving all the cards in his hand. Luke, for the last time his name is Alan! and, a naughty boy not raking the bunker on the 14th. Bryan dropped his draw ticket in the floor, showed off by chipping in twice, left his wedge behind on the practice putting green and had Paul pick it up for him. (Paul was fined for being nice). Ian called Darren the short fat dumpy one (that may be true, but have you seen Ian Woosnam recently for comparison!). Ian T was also fined for setting the longest drive on hole with water in the middle so the long hitters could not use a driver (didn’t make any difference to Captain as the water was too far and hitting straight didn’t seem an option either). It didn’t make any difference to John T either as he used a 3 wood to win.

Alan turned down an extra bacon roll and left his wine behind at Leatherhead (Captain kindly retrieving it for him). Colin Turvill………...Lost ball Colin? It was found it in the middle of the fairway. John T doesn’t seem to know the difference between match and stroke play and those sexy rubber slippers made a not unwelcome return. Peter Carfrae, Prev and Ian T not one of whom seemed to be able to add up. Chris T was out of bounds with his drive on 1st hole; Frazer dug his own bunker on the 14th fairway and Dave Shorter managed to chip into a ditch from 3 feet as well as putting like a s**** until 17th and 18th holes.

And now back to the Merit competition…. Bryan led into the day with a healthy lead of 5 points over Johns F and T in joint 2nd place. A bit of gamesmanship was in evidence as Bryan flashed his legs from his shorts, John F wore an aid to protect his golfers (allegedly) elbow and John T ordered a buggy to protect his Achilles. For the two chip-ins on the course Brian was suitably fined, but he played very well to handicap for a convincing win. John T managed 3 over handicap to come 2nd but John F had a very bad back nine in the rain (according to his Garmin it was his worst round for 4 years!) and the computer never lies.

The search is now on for a suitable high roller or potentate with deep pockets (and who is nice to his daughters and his wife) to fund a lavish prize that we could all get used to for the Merit race, for our efforts and self-sacrifice throughout the years. If any members can think of a few suitable candidates, please write their names on a postage stamp and give to the Captain when you next see him. Don’t forget, in case you weren’t sure, the word Dubai has already been used.

The event and OOM winner, Bryan Carter below being congratulated by Captain:

Roving reporter: John Thorp

You can see the full set of results on the results page

This seasons final Order Of Merit can be seen here

A great day was had at Leatherhead with the course in good condition overall, an expanded club house and a decent turnout of 17 players.

With the last events Fines Master (temp) Alan B. taking a well-earned rest, the players, tired after the game, could relax slightly but not completely as the Captain took over the proceedings. Alan was of course the first to be mentioned for being a bit over-zealous last time out; referring to Pete Carfrae saying, “you know the little fella – where is he?” and wearing 1930’s swimwear as undies. Further fines followed for having had the trophy engraved and polished for him, saying goodbye to Dave Sturgeon saying “bye Darren” and asking Michelle if she was going for a wash (not a good question to ask a Lady in any circumstances) when she is standing there showered and changed.

John F had a senior moment and said good morning at 12.30 and mislead Alan B on the ‘no food after the game’ front. Golfers elbow, which John is currently allegedly suffering from, should come under the trade’s description act.

Luke Peters asked Alan B, yet again, “what’s your name” and dined out on full dinner of fish and chips before the tournament. John T had a very tasty chip butty for lunch – how common – but he is from God’s own county of Yorkshire! Asking the Captain for the waitress’ telephone number was a bit forward (how would he know? – we deserve to be told).

Ian Dowdeswell - turned up well after 12 noon saying “morning, morning, morning”. James Mcphail, from the 1st tee, was intent on trying to kill those coming up the 18th. Darren Anderson and the Captain had a private competition to see who could hit the most trees, with Ray Steele arriving dressed for the beach. Ian T dropped brown sauce on the table cloth after saying fines were available for anyone dropping sauce on the tablecloth. Chris Turvill, on the 2nd tee, nearly hit James on the 3rd tee. Finally, Dave Sturgeon was busy on the course creating his own dictionary of swear words.

Congratulations to all the winners. Especially to John T who seems to be making the Strongest Man prize his personal domain (hopefully that will all change at Lambourne next time out)

The event winner, John "Elbow" Furness below being congratulated by Captain:

Roving reporter: John Thorp

You can see the full set of results on the results page

The current Order Of Merit can be seen here

A welcome return to Burhill, one of the most popular events on our annual chase around the courses south and west of London. With the weather fine, but with the possibility of rain, the turnout from the Society members was excellent. With the summer in full swing there were obviously a number of temporary, but very intelligent, bar staff assisting. One was heard to ask "how do I make a black Americano" . John T thought it was quite funny to make the helpful suggestion to make a white one and then take the milk out. To his horror he was apparently taken seriously (that would be a first then!)

Many were shocked to hear that Paul Beard (the usual FM) couldn’t play as he’d dislocated a couple of fingers. This left the field open for Alan B. to bravely step into the vacancy (“just for the day” was mumbled, but it was a very short queue). To be brutally honest, Alan took no persuading, as the prospect of delicious retribution dangled £ signs before his eyes. With an excellent dinner quickly dispatched, the scene was set for a fines session to remember. Drawing himself up to heights not usually seen in the FM, but starting with just a whimper, JohnT was fined for lazy parking (typical BMW driver), visiting bunkers galore and being unable to get out. Colin T for sneaking into the car park via a quicker route, even though he was following Alan B. and the Captain.

But then the FM (temp) really got into his stride with a flurry of mass finings that unsettled the crowd. Alan B, Dan J, Chris T, John F, Bryan C, Tony P, Ray S, Dave S, James Mac, Ian D - No bunkers shirts (Harsh, but keeps the Green fees down!). Tony P, Luke P, Prevo, James Mc, Chris T, Ian D - Trousers in summer!! The theme of clothing continued unabated with Dave F. asking if Alan B's mum dressed him and nearly hitting John F for looking like a Rhododendron bush. Paul H was dressed for winter, threatened Luke to persuade him to play well (after the sweep pick) and questioning the FM , calling him the new Adolf. Awful shirt by the way!. Prevo had too many shirt buttons undone - Obscene; and was seen throwing a club! Naughty!, James Mc arrived in a suit (straight from an assignation we think) for golf!. Dave S went straight to the bar on arrival with dodgy shorts and an untucked golf shirt.

Looking like a large piece of rough was not John F's only problem, at the 2nd green he sent his trolley across to the tee box for speed...Unfortunately it went across the green. Marking his card in wrong place (on the back 9 he started at 11, apparently), loud phone call in clubhouse and on the 6th hole beat the FM (temp) to the NP. Eating before Captain was his last transgression of the day. Ian T, Colin T, Chris T,Dave F, Ian D, Ray S, Stuart (Rays guest) all sat down before Captain. Out on the course Michelle had whipped the FM (temp) with her hair (S&M maybe) and marked all 3 players scores. Well done for both Michelle!. Luke P asked for a mulligan on 17th hole, LOL!!!. Tony P - shanked his driver!.

Despite overdressing, Ian D. didn't have a shower, had no change of clothes and claimed his shower at home was better than the clubhouse!. We will all go back to his mansion next time!.

Chris T., Colin T. and Ian T. - You get the theme... conspired to go out together and in the first group!! Was it a cunning plan to get to the sub standard showers before anyone else. I think we should be told. Not to be left out, Ray S. was fined for sexual innuendos (when is he not?) to John F, had an untucked shirt and shouted OI! at the FM (temp) across the dining room! Shocking!. Dave W (Bryans mate) - sat on his own and had drawn Hearts and Kisses on his scorecard (Weirdo!). Bryan - complained about the Captains buggy use (the Captain did get fined for parking his buggy in the wrong places and for playing so well) and used his mobile.

I'm sure that all will agree that Alan B. did a fine (no pun intended) job in difficult circumstances (everybody heckled!). We wish Paul B. a speedy recovery so that he can put his two appendages back to work.

The event winner, "Staineless" Steele below being congratulated by Captain:

Roving reporter: John Thorp

You can see the full set of results on the results page

The current Order Of Merit can be seen here

The all day event at The Drift for the “Putt Putt” cup in memory of Macca was a resounding success.

With a long day ahead, the Fines Master really had his huge notebook to hand and looked down (?) on the assembled golfers with some relish.

Alan B. once again called the FM Hitler, scoffed 2 bacon rolls, beating the FM to them again, ruined the first tee with his iron, requiring remediation from an excavator and, along with John T. , being cold and having tops on over their golf shirts. John T. was obviously fined again for wearing a very classy (not!) Machu Picchu hat and looking a d**k. Fair play to the person who sold it to him though and it did keep the sunburn away.

The extra competition to select a winner caused the usual confusion and comment with Colin T., Dave S., John T. and Sam B., all betting on themselves to win (what hubris). Tony F. made an incorrect entry on the 'pick a winners' sheet, by putting John T. next to his name causing panic in John as he had already picked himself.

Prev had a very creased shirt, a very offensive belt and, with Darren, Tony P., James & Chris T., all wore long trousers. Frazer was having some senior moments: gave different times to be at the venue and to save time before the matches had pre-fille some left over cards from last year - shame the Drift had changed yardages and reprinted new cards since last year - confusion amongst many players ensued. Not that it mattered to most!. Frazer was also fined for being a naughty, spoilt tempered boy on the 12th.

On the 1st tee Tony P, assaulted the FM (there was a queue, but he was in there first) and Darren, James & Prev's, 1st tee shots were all woeful.

Dave S's, tee shot on the 1st ended up on the inside of his left foot. (Strange really, as when he played football he always played inside right). Matt T. did not even make the ladies tee on the 1st.

Paul H. did a bit of slow play on the 4th, waiting for the tee to clear so he could go for the green, and missed. On another tee he took his putter by mistake....more delays!.

The FM's tee shot on the 8th never made the ladies and his team had to use it in the morning Texas scramble. Tony P. played a shot from the rough backwards through his legs and managed to hit the correct ball. Dave F., when talking about the playing groups, stated that he was playing with himself. Everyone gave him a wide berth after that.

More minor infringements were coming thick and fast but still attracted fines. Matt T. stated that he was taller than the FM....this could come down to a tie break!; James was late; Ian T. was generally talking rubbish; Tony F. looked a scruff with his shirt untucked. Jack, shared a buggy with Dave S and then walked the course. Tom, stole drivers from the pro shop (he is the Boss after all); James stated that he was Simon Templar, i.e. a saint. Ian T & Tom, talking about playing with each others balls in the shower and Dave F. getting lost in the shower.

Last but not least, Tony F. had his hat on, on the 18th , whilst shaking hands and Mike sat before the Captain at dinner.

Thanks to the generosity of members in support of the “Macca” fund we were able to add another approximately £400 to the fund, making the grand total from 3 events almost £1,000. Well done to all members for their commitment to his memory. We all miss Macca a lot and there will never be another one like him, but we are sure that he will always be with us in spirit and memory.

Going through the past Drift games we have played it was noticed that Macca won a 2013 event at the Drift, with the same number of points (39), as did Chris T. our members winner this year. What a coincidence! and congratulations to Chris.

The overall event winner, Jack Redknap below being congratulated by Captain:

And very fittingly, as a close mate and having spoken at Macca's funeral, the members winner Chris Turvill collecting Macca's The Putt Putt Jug.

Roving reporter: John Thorp

You can see the full set of results on the results page

The current Order Of Merit can be seen here

With summer skies threatening a damp round, John Furness cried off using the excuse of a faulty house alarm (a bit extreme breaking into your own house to avoid the rain!) and Michelle for crying off last minute with no wet weather gear (?- how long has she lived in England).

The rain eventually did arrive, which certainly kept the scores low of all but a few champions in waiting who managed to ignore the conditions. Well done Colin! after stating that he had a very boring round but he just kept hitting the fairways.

Alan Brunton (yes it was He) was fined for calling the FM Hitler after being complimented on how much he resembles Elton john with his latest earring. Other fines included Prev, after seeing Dave F's tee shot spin off into the woods on the first, told him "don’t worry you next shot can’t be as bad", and it was.

Ray S, having an electric trolley but forgetting to put the battery in (that was back in his car) and not managing to get a hole in one again on the 17th. Ray S was also wearing shorts on a very wet day, and was seen to be standing on the fairways with his hands in his pockets trying to keep warm.

Ian D, turning up at 13:10hrs and greeting everyone with good morning and left his hat on whilst shaking hands on the 18th. Ian was also talking to himself so much during the round it was like watching Randell &Hopkirk (without a ghost!).

Mike J was fined twice, once for making the FM repeat himself many times, eventually resorting to sign language and looking at naked men in the newspaper and finding it difficult to put it down.

The FM penalised himself after a drive managed to travel forward 10ft.
Peter C should have taken a drop when his ball was stuck in a tree instead of doing a Langer.

Mike P lost his card from the car to the club house and with commendable foresight, had to go to the cash machine to pay for the fines he was bound to get.

John T. had an expensive time, saying how much he is in need of a good hat, however, he then explained in detail (boring...Yawn) that he has a wonderful dual purpose hat that he got from Machu Picchu (It didn't help his scoring much). He used his phone at the dinner table and made some very light hearted but definately derogatory remarks about the FM.

Dave F. was skewerred for making me try and spell derogortory.

Below is winner, Colin, collecting his trophy from Captain Shorter. Well done to all.

Roving reporter: John Thorp

You can see the full set of results on the results page

The current Order Of Merit can be seen here

Info on Calcot suggests that the course is owned by the members. It’s easy to believe, as it seemed that sometimes not a blade of grass was out of place. Could it be that some of the owners are Swiss?.

The greens were in excellent condition but with their subtle borrows and difficult pin positions many 3 puts made their way on to the score cards. The bunkers could have usefully been refilled with some soft sand to give some of us a better chance of elegant bunker shots, Dave F especially. It was really great to welcome back John W after a long absence.

On a day warm enough for everyone to wear shorts there were some who sadly (delicate flowers that they are) were feeling the cold and were duly fined. Luke’s orange top and red shorts woke us all up, but he was asleep on the 18th and didn’t take his cap off for the handshake.

Ian D topped the rest of us with black socks (hastily replaced by a white pair from somewhere) and blue shirt and black shorts, although these were replaced by long trousers at some stage. Other delicates were Ian, Colin, Dave, Mike P, Peter C and James Mc. Ian T received some comments about his strange haircut (is it called a ‘Jethro’ from NCIS?) and the fact that when JohnT told him he couldn’t make a friendly game last week, as it would have taken 16 hours on an A350 (Airbus from Malaysia), Ian thought he was on a road somewhere !. Alan B arrived with no socks, in shoes that used to be called ‘Brothel creepers’. Is Alan not telling us something?. Army golf from bunker to bunker across the greens didn’t help his mood, which was further depressed at dinner, when Ian had the temerity to leave a second piece of steak on the plate without offering it to our favourite trencherman.

Frazer proved on the day to be a sad reflection of his former self.........two tries to hit the group in front and failing miserably on both occasions!. Must do better !. Bryan was fined for practicing with guest Mike P., Dave S for being late on the tee and not scoring correctly and Dave W again for his shirt.

Despite being in the very very slow last group, which unforgivably held up dinner, Mike P had a glorious return from honeymoon in Namibia (Swakopmund anyone?). Well done Mike, but a bit of a shame he had, at the last moment, to cruelly steal nearest pin from Dave F.!.

Below is winner, Ian T, collecting his trophy from Captain Shorter. Well done to all.

Roving reporter: John Thorp

You can see the full set of results on the results page

The current Order Of Merit can be seen here

With some members of the Society having already played Weybrook it was good to introduce it as a new experience to most. With the sun shining and a few brave souls in shorts the day proved to be very enjoyable. Much work is ongoing to provide tree patched fairways on the new opening 9 holes, while the back 9 retains the wooded character typical of Surrey courses. The club website forewarned that the greens were recovering from Spring treatment, but the resulting tramlines kept the overall scores lower than they might have been. Fortune favoured those who hit their putts strongly through the breaks. Tony P was particularly pumped up (no pun intended!) and putted valiantly. So excited was he that he even walked off the 3rd without his trolley. Later in the day all was forgiven as the Society members proudly presented him with an engraved tankard to celebrate his 100th event with Bunkers. The fact that Winter rules were in force came as a surprise and Dave F was disappointed that it didn’t apply in the rough. So much for the R&A’s investment in golfer education!. Dave F appeared later in the fines list for implying that Frazer was cottaging, not coppicing when he drove into the woods.

Despite evidence to the contrary, John F was busy calling himself an athlete (I suppose compared to the rest of the population of Leeds he is). John’s day didn’t turn out well....he hit only two fairways and missed, by his own calculations, at least 5 two foot puts. (Does anyone care?). He still scored a creditable 31 points.

Much of the excitement of the day happened on the tees, but before even getting there Colin T and Mike J were fined for chipping on the practice green next to a ‘No Chipping ‘ sign. Although he wasn’t fined for it, Mike even managed to rough the pro up the wrong way before teeing off. The Marcel Marceau impression with a glass entry door completed his successful morning. Paul H, arriving at 12.15, was only slightly late for a planned 10.30 discussion with Frazer. Life in a different (parallel?) time zone perhaps.

Never ones to be out of contact with their stockbrokers, Ian T and Frazer were using their phones in the club house. Ray S entertained on the 1st tee with a vivid description of a romantic encounter with (amongst many others) an Arkela’s daughter. Luke’s facial expression was classic. John T asked whether he had earned a badge.

Living dangerously, the FM came into some heavyweight criticisms. Matt T foolishly asked when he had last seen his manhood. Without blinking an eyelid, the use of a mirror was mentioned. After discussing that John F was carrying, Tony P suggested that the FM was carrying but only around his waist. Dave F had a drive on the 8th that went 10ft high and 10ft forward, whilst Frazer’s 1st tee shot(s)were shocking. The Captain carried out his usual and thorough quality control tests on the bunkers on most holes (where would we be without this invaluable self sacrifice on every course that we play?) This must have been a tiring exercise as he almost abandoned his clubs on the 15th, admittedly after Frazer tried to decapitate him on the short 12th.

Colin and Ian T tried and failed to get was a duck, the other a crow. Ian was not to be denied a fine however and kept bragging how he had used the bridge on the 1st to get nearer the hole. (Yawn!!!). Predictably, Ian and Matt (who once again had Tourette’s all the way round) forgot to bring in the trophies and admitted that they had not been engraved.

Dave S was a shirt short of sartorial elegance (try saying that after a few Guinesses) and James, our newest member, left his cap on on the 18th. Both were fined. Although John T was fined for not getting a hat trick, it was mainly for not letting the Captain win the sweep.

Lastly, Mike J was fined for dobbing almost everybody in. How to be so popular without really trying!.

Hearty congratulations to Luke for a splendid win, seen being congratulated below by Captain Shorter - although it has to be noted, as mentioned above, without the winning Trophy!

Roving reporter: John Thorp

You can see the full set of results on the results page

The current Order Of Merit can be seen here

We started the day at Burnham wIth all of our players assembling on the first tee to spend a few moments remembering our good friend Paul Donlevy who sadly lost his life to cancer a few days ago.

A sombre occasion, but Macca would not have allowed the mood to colour the rest of the day, so the teams set off to enjoy one of the best courses around this area.

Michelle, our newest member would have teed off in the first group but was a bit late. (A fine followed)

John Furness couldn’t resist commenting that the only female member was wearing shorts. (Presumably contrasting with the rest of us wearing trousers in the cool weather). JF also decided to carry his golf clubs, trying to impress the only female member.?

Even before we left the club house, Alan Brunton was trying to snaffle Dave’s S’s bacon roll that he had promised to the fines captain, tut tut.

Alan B was not well behaved, clicking his fingers and shouting oi ,on the first tee. Alan then called the Captain the Pope as his buggy was coloured white. Once again the fines were higher for Alan than most others.!

Bryan C’s group, now teeing off first, all posed on the first tee and duffed it down the right hand side.

All the fines for the day were being donated to Macca’s memory so they came thick and fast from the very small notebook of the Fines Master. Here is a flavour.............

Dave Flavell, stating to John Thorp that he was happy his (John’s) ball landed in a bunker and that his never did. With friends like that, who needs enemies.

Bryan Carter was fined as he was the only one from his group that never birdied the 9th.

Dave Sturgeon, moaning that he took a 5 on a hole and only picked up 3 points.

Frazer teed of the 2nd and managed to get on the green ,although it was the 1st green.

The captain, giving up on the 18th as he couldn’t be bothered.

Ian Turvill, suffering from Tourette’s as he was swearing under his breath most of the way round the course.

Alan Brunton & John Furness were fined for using phones in the club house.

Darren Anderson and John Thorp (who drove at Bryan and missed!) were caught driving through the groups in front.

Ian Dowdswell and John Furness obviously either go to the same tailors or got dressed in the dark as the both we wearing stripes and check together.

Frazer, for hitting the sleepers on the 10th and have his ball return to him.

Dave Shorter, taking an air shot on the 17th.

Ian D committed a major felony as he drove off the 15th before walking down to finish putting out on the 14th.

Congratulations to JohnT for winning the first two bunkers events of the 2019 season. A suitable cut in handicap is guaranteed to follow.!

Roving reporter: John Thorp

You can see the full set of results on the results page

The current Order Of Merit can be seen here


It is with deep sadness that we learnt today of the passing of our long-time friend and founder member, Paul Donlevy, known to us as Macca.

Our sympathies go out to his family and all who knew this wonderful guy.

Rest In Peace Macca.

With Christmas festivities receding into the background for another 8 months and the New Years Eve resolutions forgotten it was a good time to clean the clubs, dust off the shoes and head out to Cuddington for the first event of the 2019 season.

With the wind blowing a force 6-7 throughout the day, there weren't too many cobwebs left by the end of players rounds but most groups got back in before the rain started once again. At least the conditions gave some the chance to emulate Bubba Watson by aiming at right angles to the fairways. Unlike Bubba however most of the shots didn't land in the planned spots. Although there had been a forecast change to the after game menu (one course rather than two) the quality of the plate ensured a quiet meal and the sounds of happy munching.

This tranquil scene was bravely interrupted by our professional Fines Master (FM) who was keen to stamp his mark on the season.

Ian Dowdeswell, suffering from man-flu, had called in at 09:57 to say he could not make it and Tony Peters had invited a guest to Burnham Beeches but had to announce that he will not be playing (one of the rare occasions when a fine is levied BEFORE an event!).Alan Brunton was determined to lose money by calling the FM Adolf and repeatedly calling Peter Carfrae, Dave Flavell.(Yes they do have some resemblance, but Dave wasn't there)

Frazer was fined for putting off Luke on the first by allowing his trolley to be blown past the tee as he was driving off.

Dave Shorter, of course, did his normal first tee shot. Recalling what we said earlier about Bubba, Ian Turvill blamed the wind for his shot on the 18th even though it went in the opposite direction.

Alan Brunton, again wanting to be poorer, was fined for calling Ian Turvill names as he has had a knee replacement and he picked his name out of the draw. Some people are natural victims (Alan not Ian!)

Obviously the FM has a thing about John T's shoes, with a second fine (No they are not golf shoes!)

John Furness had another bout of Alzheimer’s; having a go at Alan Brunton and taking the mickey out of Dave Sturgeon for two putting on numerous greens..... is this not regulation putting?.

The FM fined himself for using a pastel peach coloured ball.

Dave Sturgeon (and the rest of his group) were targeted for shouting fore on a par three only to hit the green........he wanted others to see his shot.!

And finally, Darren Anderson threw grass in Luke's face. Why?

A great day and a fitting opener to what should be an excellent season on some great courses.

Well done to John for winning the event.

Roving reporter: John Thorp

You can see the full set of results on the results page

The current Order Of Merit can be seen here