With the Roving reporters away this month - probably on holiday eating lots of cake! - it falls to The Editor to make something up this month.
Perfect weather greeted the players who turned up to Calcot Park. As normal, the course looked in immaculate condition, and the clubhouse service from the staff was as immaculate as ever.
Due to an unfortunate injury to Steve who had to pull out last minute, the remaining 18 players had a quiet day! Get well soon Steve.
The first outing this year for the Fines Meister saw a bumper crop harvested, and that was just for him - some of the highlights:
- Beardy being fined for giving one of his group their own card to mark
- Beardy fined for being late to his tee-slot cos he went for a pee
- Beardy fined for moaning about the weather too much - his sweater was on and off more than a whores drawers
- Beardy for copious amounts of farting!
- Beardy for playing the society day when he should actually be at his home club having a lesson with the pro
- Beardy on the 4th, driving (the buggy) straight passed the tee heading off towards the green without playing his tee shot
... and there were others ... , but we can't let him hog all the limelight, so here's some of what the others cocked up:
- James (who is lacking some hair on his bonce) was fined for saying he still uses shampoo
- Ian T for phone use in the clubhouse
- John T for sending someone on a wild goose chase for bacon rolls
- Ian T paying with money he'd borrowed from his grandchildren's money box
- Prev for his matching hat and jacket
- Ian D for his new haircut and beard - same style and length so now we don't know which way up his head is
- Dave Shorter for his 1st shot of the day being the normal shite
- Mike for arguing with the starter about what the time was
- John F for stating his mother in law was nearly as good looking as his wife
- John F for hitting his first tee shot straight out of bounds
- Frazer for moving his group from 2nd to 1st out, thus meaning John F was not physically or mentally prepared to hit his 1st tee shot straight!
- Dave F for adding up 17+14 and getting 33
- Ian D for announcing on his golfing whatsapp group his winning score before he'd even handed his card in
- 4th group for driving through the group in front whilst they were still on the 8th green
Apart from best (only) guest, Paul F, and second position, Phil Richards, all the other prizes on the day were hoovered up by Ian D and Frazer. Both needed a carry case to take home their prizes.
Congratulations to all, with Ian D receiving the winners trophy from Captain Shorter.
The Editor