For many years there have been occasional reports in the Golf Press (the better titles of course) that golfers didn’t go to Test Valley primarily for the golf. This writer for one put these rumours down to the mere tittle tattle of grumpy overweight old men. However, the Bunkers visit last week confirmed the truth!. The meals produced by the club house kitchen were a gastronomic triumph!, easily winning over the jaded palates of our members. Even Ray S, our resident gastronomic vacuum cleaner, happily polished off Tony P's unwanted sausage at breakfast.
The golf that accompanied these delights was also very enjoyable, given that previous visits to the course had been stymied or brought close to disaster by wet weather.
With this being the first event of 2022, members seemed to have gained a mean streak over the winter. The DOB-SHEETs were heavy with minor ,and major, infringements. One of the funniest of course would be Dave F. Gladly offering John F a comb when asked 👀. Dave F made up for it by playing some of his best golf this year, even if it was off a handicap of 36.
Conversations after the game were enlightened by John F telling and re-telling Ad nauseam the tale of how he was persuaded to marked a 3, not a 2 on the closest pin 16th and 4 putted the 8th. (Memory like a goldfish maybe). John T got a fine for the subterfuge and for littering the course with an unused Puttenham score card.
Luke was like a man possessed in his quest to be fined. First he lost his DOB sheet, then got lost on the way to the driving range and then took a swing at a late arriving Michelle with his bag!. Michelle, inevitably, was also fined for being late and a victim.
The golfing gods were looking after some, but not all, players. John T hit at least 2 drives straight in to fairway bunkers, but they squirted out of the other side on each occasion. Ian T, not to be outdone, played crazy golf on the 6th. (Sadly, no further description available). Chris T managed to chip in for a birdie after thinning a drive and managed to prove that trees are at least 10% timber. Mark T hit a 320 yd drive, didn’t wait for the bell, and took another four shots to get down. Tony hit a second provisional into the pond on the 15th.
Martin C was one of those playing Army golf and on the 4th hit three to back of the green, fourth into a bunker and fifth through the back. What joy!. Paul B was fined for being a nice bloke and swearing all the time. Somebody had to remind the Captain that he’d left his top in the bar (what had happened to the other part of his bikini is still a mystery).
Lastly, and how could we forget, John F won three nearest pin prizes while generally playing some of the worst golf of his golfing year. What was that about Gods?.
Congratulations to all deserving winners and a great day was had by all.
Congratulaions to first time winner Mike P, receiving the trophy from Captain Shorter.
Roving reporter: John Thorp
