A welcome return to Burhill, one of the most popular events on our annual chase around the courses south and west of London. With the weather fine, but with the possibility of rain, the turnout from the Society members was excellent. With the summer in full swing there were obviously a number of temporary, but very intelligent, bar staff assisting. One was heard to ask "how do I make a black Americano" . John T thought it was quite funny to make the helpful suggestion to make a white one and then take the milk out. To his horror he was apparently taken seriously (that would be a first then!)
Many were shocked to hear that Paul Beard (the usual FM) couldn’t play as he’d dislocated a couple of fingers. This left the field open for Alan B. to bravely step into the vacancy (“just for the day” was mumbled, but it was a very short queue). To be brutally honest, Alan took no persuading, as the prospect of delicious retribution dangled £ signs before his eyes. With an excellent dinner quickly dispatched, the scene was set for a fines session to remember. Drawing himself up to heights not usually seen in the FM, but starting with just a whimper, JohnT was fined for lazy parking (typical BMW driver), visiting bunkers galore and being unable to get out. Colin T for sneaking into the car park via a quicker route, even though he was following Alan B. and the Captain.
But then the FM (temp) really got into his stride with a flurry of mass finings that unsettled the crowd. Alan B, Dan J, Chris T, John F, Bryan C, Tony P, Ray S, Dave S, James Mac, Ian D - No bunkers shirts (Harsh, but keeps the Green fees down!). Tony P, Luke P, Prevo, James Mc, Chris T, Ian D - Trousers in summer!! The theme of clothing continued unabated with Dave F. asking if Alan B's mum dressed him and nearly hitting John F for looking like a Rhododendron bush. Paul H was dressed for winter, threatened Luke to persuade him to play well (after the sweep pick) and questioning the FM , calling him the new Adolf. Awful shirt by the way!. Prevo had too many shirt buttons undone - Obscene; and was seen throwing a club! Naughty!, James Mc arrived in a suit (straight from an assignation we think) for golf!. Dave S went straight to the bar on arrival with dodgy shorts and an untucked golf shirt.
Looking like a large piece of rough was not John F's only problem, at the 2nd green he sent his trolley across to the tee box for speed...Unfortunately it went across the green. Marking his card in wrong place (on the back 9 he started at 11, apparently), loud phone call in clubhouse and on the 6th hole beat the FM (temp) to the NP. Eating before Captain was his last transgression of the day. Ian T, Colin T, Chris T,Dave F, Ian D, Ray S, Stuart (Rays guest) all sat down before Captain. Out on the course Michelle had whipped the FM (temp) with her hair (S&M maybe) and marked all 3 players scores. Well done for both Michelle!. Luke P asked for a mulligan on 17th hole, LOL!!!. Tony P - shanked his driver!.
Despite overdressing, Ian D. didn't have a shower, had no change of clothes and claimed his shower at home was better than the clubhouse!. We will all go back to his mansion next time!.
Chris T., Colin T. and Ian T. - You get the theme... conspired to go out together and in the first group!! Was it a cunning plan to get to the sub standard showers before anyone else. I think we should be told. Not to be left out, Ray S. was fined for sexual innuendos (when is he not?) to John F, had an untucked shirt and shouted OI! at the FM (temp) across the dining room! Shocking!. Dave W (Bryans mate) - sat on his own and had drawn Hearts and Kisses on his scorecard (Weirdo!). Bryan - complained about the Captains buggy use (the Captain did get fined for parking his buggy in the wrong places and for playing so well) and used his mobile.
I'm sure that all will agree that Alan B. did a fine (no pun intended) job in difficult circumstances (everybody heckled!). We wish Paul B. a speedy recovery so that he can put his two appendages back to work.
The event winner, "Staineless" Steele below being congratulated by Captain:
Roving reporter: John Thorp