The days events started well. Having eaten bacon rolls, sandwiches, crisps, salad and large and small cheesy chips, some members even beat the Captain to the bacon on offer from the club. (Fines were duly noted). In fact those gannets nearly knocked him over getting to the first tray.
On the course which was well turned out, shot making on the day was variable -
Frazer W. and group were seen trying to tee off the 17th instead of the 4th. (ahem, Frazer was on the right tee waiting for the others!)
Macca on the 1st only just making it passed the ladies .........and the same for Frazer
Beardy took 3 to get passed the path next to 3rd tee.
Mark T. was hazardous to ones health on the 13th and despite spinning the wheels managed to get the buggy stuck. Fined of course!.
On one hole Ray S. tried to hit the Captain off the tee then told him his ball went straight down the middle!.
Chris H. was fined for club throwing and Chris T for saying his prayers in the bar.
John F. had us all very eager to learn more of his sorting out Thailand (while in the clubhouse and on the course) and was fined for bad language when he couldn't sort out his wayward shots (or Thailand).
Luckily for some, this year was only slightly (very) damp, but all welcomed John T. (fairweather Thorp) with a hearty " Wow, why are you here, have you been cloned". Some fellow golfers are so kind.! And understanding!. Although records of Bunkers golf matches do not stretch back into pre-history, it's unlikely that someone else with both ombrophobia (or even pluviophobia) has ever been a regular member of the society.
Some members may have other deep phobias (very green shirts for both Tony P. and Luke P. attracted fines, with jeans for Ray S. causing a stir) but rarely do they surface to public scrutiny. However, some reports ago we noted that the drives of the Captain and others off the 1st tee on one course ended up in lakes. Phobia of open water (thalassophobia) is much easier to hide!.
Luke P. tried to find MALCOLM for most of the round. This elusive player turned out to be Macca (who is normally not difficult to spot and does respond to most nicknames).
Some time ago John F. managed to lose a well loved 8 iron so this short story is very apt-
Paul and John (names changed to protect the innocent) are playing a spectacular course built into gullies and ravines. They reach the 6th hole, where John slices a ball into a thickly wooded, deep valley, but he is determined not to take a penalty stroke, so he grabs his 8-iron and starts descending in search of his ball. The brush is terribly thick and tears at John's clothes. The sunlight is dimmed by all the overhanging branches but John keeps searching and finally spots something shiny down below. As he nears the object, he realizes it's not a ball, but a golf club. John takes a closer look only to discover that it is an 8-iron - and it's in the hands of a human skeleton laying near an old golf ball!. John yells out for his partner. "Hey Paul, get over here, I got trouble down here!". Paul hurries over to the edge of the ravine and yells down, "What's the matter John?"
John replies, "Bring me my 7-iron. You can't get out of this stuff with an 8."
Finally................... Alan S. turned up without the trophy making some thin excuse about dates and names of competitions.
Nearest the Pin - Hole 14 - Dave Shorter
Nearest the Pin in 2 - Hole 17 - Paul Donlevy
Nearest the Pin in 3 - Hole 20 - Nobody
Nearest the Pin - Hole 25 - Paul Donlevy
Strongest Man - Alan Sutcliffe - 16 points
Winner: Tony Peters - 38 points
Winner Tony below in photo with Captain Dave .
Congratulations to all the winners .
Roving reporter: John Thorp