We arrived early at the wonderful East Berkshire golf course for Captains day, very early. We waited outside in our shorts and polo shirts in the fresh air patiently for the club to open. Only to be told by Darren A after several minutes, that it was in fact open as he had already been inside but thought that we preferred standing out in the cooler air chatting? He was informed that we didn't.
The insults started thick and fast, Pink or White shirts were the order of the day. Paul H must be colour blind, that shirt was never pink.
The winner of the cup was in no doubt, Ian T was taking it very seriously, practicing his swing in the club house as well as undergoing altitude training in the Swiss alps in preparation, whereas the rest of us needed preparation H as Macca is a pain in the Ar$e.
Ian had also undertaken to have highlights applied to his hair, please see the picture, he asked whether it made him look a bit like Ian Poulter. I believe that he may be losing it a bit as he mentioned something about me being Michelin man, but I have never won an accolade for cooking.
Matt T's footwear choice (flip flops) cost him as well as a myriad of other fines including making his mother-in-law clean a trophy and making the captain pick it up for him.
Macca, well, he confessed his undying love for the captain during the round, but saved his wind for the afternoon round - both Dave F and myself felt special. The afternoon round dictated that every player was only allowed to carry 4 clubs one being a putter, crazy I know, but a good few players scored better with this method.
Darren A had a few problems filling in the form to pick the winner, however it was spotted and numerous persons came to his assistance.
John T needed some assistance, he couldn't find the way to the first tee and when he asked someone it was pointed out that he was actually standing under the sign showing the direction.
Ray S - hat off to you, he also had to show off and get a Lemon Posset to finish his lunch of ham egg and chips, during the evening meal he informed the waitress that he liked a tart.
Mike J will learn to remove his hat before shaking hands on the 18th next time.
Results:
Morning - 18 hole Individual Stroke play
Winner - Ian Turvill
Nearest The Pin - 9th hole - Absolutely nobody - bunch of bleedin amateurs!
Nearest The Pin in 3 shots - 10th hole - Mark Turvill
Nearest The Pin in 2 shots - 15th hole - Paul Donlevy
Nearest The Pin - 16th hole - Mark Turvill (again!)
Morning - team competition winners: Paul Donlevy, Darren Anderson & Alan Brunton
Afternoon individual winner: Darren Anderson
Afternoon team competition winners: Matt Turvill, Darren Anderson & Ian Turvill
Afternoon Hickory club Nearest the Pin - 5th hole - Ray Steele
Afternoon Hickory club Longest Drive - 8th hole - Matt Turvill
Morning Individual winner Ian Turvill collecting his trophy for Captain Shorter.
Roving reporter: Paul 'Michelin Man' Beard